A Better Conversation about Homosexuality (Part 9): Not About Sex

This may come as a shock, but our conversation about homosexuality is not actually about sex. 
     I know sex is part of homosexuality.  It's right there in the middle of the word and in the middle of our thoughts.  But it doesn't belong in the middle of our conversation.

Photo Credit: Nick Sherman

    Our global culture tends to make desire our highest good - specifically fulfilling our desires.  17th century Dutch philosopher Baruch Spinoza would be right at home in postmodernism: "Desire is the very essence of man."
     David Fitch (a leading missional theologian) recently argued that world has a universal underlying paradigm that "desire is innate, not shaped, cannot be changed, and is who I am."  He continues: "This ... is so much part of the water we swim in, it is rarely if ever challenged. It plays deep into the psyches of the sexually charged cultures of the young. It drives the sexual controversies in society at large and in the church."  He proceeds to challenge and to break apart that paradigm.  I'd like to echo and reframe his arguments here. 

First of all, despite our cultural expectations, desire ≠ right.  
 We believe desire = right (as in good).
    Elvis started it out: "It feels so right, so right.  How can it be wrong?  ...  I know that nothing can't be wrong that feels so right."  But recent singers have carried forward this philosophy: Ne-Yo ("How can something that feels so right be so wrong?") and Carly Rae Jepsen ("Wrong feels so right").
     We have a basic cultural belief that whatever we desire is right.  If we want it bad enough, it must be inherently good - or at least good for us.  Even if it's normally bad for others, it must be good for us.
    However, we know that desire is a fickle thing and not a faithful barometer for ethics.  My desire for five bratwursts in two days during was not a good thing.  One of the essential elements of criminal prosecution is proving that the accused had sufficient motive (desire) for the crime.  We know that desire can easily lead us astray.

We also believe that desire = right (as in having a right to something).  
If I really desire it, then I have a right to it.   The US Declaration of Independence has enshrined our right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" in our national documents, but the entire world has this motto etched on our minds.  Do not stand in the way between humans and our desires.  That is a good way to get yourself killed.

A Better Conversation about Homosexuality (Part 8): Not About Equality

Photo Credit: See-Ming Lee

     The conversation about homosexuality is not about equality.  Not just about equality.  Not simply that.  Equality is not the primary issue at hand.  Not for Christians.

     For Christians, the primary issue at hand is understanding how the Bible guides our lives.  Nothing supersedes that.  We use tradition, reason, and experience to help us understand the Bible, but still the Bible is the primary material for ethics and theology.  As we look at the whole spectrum of the Bible, the parts that speak directly to homosexuality, sexuality, and relationships and the parts that speak to the broader issues of God's movement in the world, what is the confluence of all of those texts? How does the overall story of the Bible speak to the specific issue of homosexuality?  That is the primary question at hand for Christians.
     The larger culture is in a broad push to affirm "gay equality" across all sectors of society.  A notable example is Obama's push for gay partners to have the same rights as straight partners in all areas of federal law.  His twitter feed called his latest effort "another victory for equality."  A great many business and organizations are making similar choices in their own employment policies.
     With this kind of wide-scale change, the questions relating to gay marriage can feel like a no-brainer issue of equal rights for all people.  The no-brainer rating of this issue increases as the age of the opinion-holder decreases, by the way.  But cultural change is not always good.
"Everyone's doing it" doesn't hold much weight logically or theologically.

A Better Conversation about Homosexuality (Part 8): Not About Whether We Believe in the Bible

Photo Credit: David Campbell

     "The Bible says homosexuality is wrong" - that's the starting point for many conservatives.  The greatest fear among both conservatives and moderates is that, if the Church accepts homosexuality in any form, then we are rejecting the authority of the Bible.  

     The whole debate about homosexuality is fraught with such heavy emotional baggage in part because it is attached to this larger issue of Biblical authority.  

For many, the question of gay marriage is simple: “Either you believe the Bible, or your don’t.”  

The great fear is that we Christians will lose our ethical bearings in the world and become lost in a moral swamp of squishy ground in which everything is personally debatable.  

     On one hand, this makes a lot of sense.  For Christians, the Bible is our moral compass.  The Bible is our guide for life.  Christians believe the Bible is inspired by God and actually alive with the Spirit of God.  The Bible is our supreme authority for understanding God and how God wants us to live in this world.  Of course, we also use reason, tradition, and experience to help us understand the Bible, but the Bible’s voice is always in the trump suit.  The Bible always has the authority to correct us.  The Bible is always the voice that moves the Church to reform when we have gone astray.  It is good and right for Christians to highly value the authority of the Bible.
     And when the Bible talks directly about homosexuality, it is always negative.  Accepting something the Bible seems to reject outright sounds like heresy to many.  It sounds like gay-affirming people are saying we get to pick and choose which parts of the Bible we believe in.  And of course, if we can pick and choose which texts have authority over us, then none have actual authority.   

If we are the filter of authoritative texts, then we are the real authority not the Bible. 

    Some advocates of gay marriage and other gay rights are perfectly fine with this conclusion.  

Whether Christian or not, they view the Bible as an archaic, mostly obsolete book.  

These Christians view it primarily as the story of God’s work in the world, but they see it as so heavily weighted with ancient cultural baggage that it has nothing meaningful to say about ethics in today’s world. 
     Another group of Christians prioritize Jesus’ teachings over all else, to the point of radically discounting both Paul and the Old Testament.  With all of their good intentions and honest love for Jesus, these genuine Christians are also practicing Marcionites.  Marcion was a 2nd century Christian leader who rejected the Old Testament and parts of the New Testament in favor of the portions that incline theology toward an all-forgiving God.  Marcion was ruled a heretic, and the global Church affirmed our commitment as Christians to the authority of the whole Bible.

     However, a whole other set of gay-affirming Christians remain Bible stalwarts.  They believe in the Bible with their whole hearts, and they are trying to shape their lives by the Bible’s teachings.  They remain deeply committed to the authority of the whole Bible - both Old and New Testaments.  And yet, as they understand the Bible, gay marriage is an acceptable option for Christians.  Even more, some of them feel that the Bible itself compels them to work for gay equality in the Church.

A Better Conversation about Homosexuality (Part 7): Not About Sodom and Gomorrah

“Where are the men who came to spend the night with you? Bring them out to us so we can have sex with them!” (Genesis 19:5).

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     The Biblical cities Sodom and Gomorrah have become idiomatic of wanton sinfulness.  In Genesis 18, God tells Abraham that God will destroy the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah "because their sin is so flagrant" (18:20).  
     Two angels then go into Sodom to investigate, and they eventually agree to stay in the home of Lot, Abraham's nephew.  That night, the men of Sodom surrounded Lot's house and demanded to have sex with the visiting men.  
     This story is often cited as a proof of the evils of homosexuality.  A traditional interpretation of the story is that the people of Sodom and Gomorrah were so sexually corrupt that God could not stand their presence on the earth any longer.  The text's depiction of men demanding sex with men is often seen as evidence of God's prohibition of homosexuality as a whole.  In fact, the word "sodomy" (having various meanings relating to "unnatural" sex) gets its meaning from the city of Sodom. 

      However, this is a gross misreading of the text.  Nothing in the Sodom and Gomorrah story says anything about modern homosexuality or gay marriage. 

Consider the following basic points. 

1. Sodom and Gomorrah is about rape.  The straight narrative of the story is that the men of Sodom try to gang rape Lot's guests and threaten to do even worse to Lot.  The issue at hand is primarily power and domination, not sexual desire.  Men raping men was a common form of humiliation against prisoners of war.  For some reason, the men of Sodom were trying to show their utter dominance over Lot and his guests.  This has nothing to do with consenting sexual relationships and even less for gay marriage.  

A Better Conversation about Homosexuality (Part 6): Not about Individual Worth

When Christians start talking about homosexuality, most LBGT people feel that their personal identity is under attack.

Photo Credit: Axel.Foley

This is unfortunately understandable, but fortunately not true.

     It's understandable for several reasons.
     First of all, some Christians mistakenly paint homosexual practice as a super-sin.  They give the impression in more ways than one that homosexual sex is worse than heterosexual adultery, or almost any other kind of sin under the sun.
     Second, many Christians and other conservatives have developed somewhat of a conspiracy theory called "the gay agenda."  The idea is that there is an organized plot to liberalize America, to destroy "family values", to disenfranchise Christians, and otherwise to bring general moral corruption.  Somehow a great majority of the focus in this perceived cultural battle has focused in on homosexuality in general and gay marriage in particular.
     Third, as I said in a previous post, many LBGT people feel that their sexual orientation is part of their core identity as a person.  Therefore, when anyone says anything negative about that sexual orientation, the LBGT person naturally feels deeply threatened.  The message they hear - based on conversations with my gay friends - is something most Christians never meant to say: "Who you are as a person is fundamentally bad or sinful or evil." 
     Lastly, it seems that many Christians have drawn a line in the theological and ethical sand on the issues relating to gay marriage. 

A Better Conversation about Homosexuality (Part 3): Not About an Orientation

Photo Credit: Umayyr

The conversation that the church is having is not about homosexuality as an orientation.  

     In a statement on homosexuality, my own denomination puts it like this:
The Bible says nothing about homosexuality as the term is often used today. Homosexuality is often used today to describe a person’s sexual orientation. The Bible does not address homosexual orientation.  What the Bible does talk about are homosexual acts. … Sexual orientation is not usually a willful choice.  …  It is amoral, neither moral nor immoral.  Sexual behavior is a moral choice.

     Being gay is not sinful.  Having the sexual orientation toward the same sex is not sinful or evil.  It is amoral.  Sin is in the action or intention, not in the desire or tendency.

True Confession: I am oriented to eating donuts by the dozen.
And whole pizzas, and vats of guacamole, and entire pecan pies.  I could eat an entire half-gallon of ice cream without flinching.  I am oriented to destructive overeating.  That orientation is not sinful in itself.  Camping out in Krispe Kreme is.  Sin is not in the desire.  Sin is in the action.  Holiness and health come in disciplining the desire for the sake of right action.

True Confession: I am a raging heterosexual.

A Better Conversation about Homosexuality (Part 2): 4 Reasons We Need to Talk

One of the most common responses to this series so far is: “Why do we even need to talk about this?”  My conservative brothers and sisters feel that discussion is pointless because the Bible gives a clear prohibition against homosexual activity in all forms.  As one friend said, “Are we going to decide that God was wrong?”
Here are 4 reasons we need to talk about homosexuality.

1. Kids are dying.  LBGT (Lesbian, Bi, Gay, Transgender) teens and young adults are four times more likely to attempt suicide than straight kids.  When LBGT kids experience rejection from their families, they are eight times more likely to try to kill themselves.  No matter our theological position, we have an ethical responsibility to cultivate an environment that keeps our kids alive, no matter their questions and orientations.

2. The world is talking about this.  Not only are our collective opinions changing rapidly, but also as a culture, we're having this conversation openly.  Even people who don't identify as Christians or frequent a church are actively making religious connections in this conversation about homosexuality.  Consider this song by Macklemore and Mary Lambert:

A Better Conversation about Homosexuality (Part 1)

Photo by Burstein!

Obviously, homosexuality is one of the hottest and most controversial topics of our time. We have experienced rapid social change both in secular society and in the church. (See my discussion about World Vision for more on these changes.)  

However, it seems to me that we are not actually having this discussion with grace and wisdom. First of all, our debates are very muddy. We are arguing and arguing, but we are meaning different things with our words.  People are anxious and confused and angry on all sides, but most of us don't even understand what the real issues are and where the real points of debate exist. Secondly, because gay marriage is so polarizing, we tend to veer to extremes of both emotion and logic. We can quickly descend into name calling, judgmentalism, fear tactics, and personal attacks - often without even realizing how far we've fallen.

For the next few months, I'm going to write about how to have a better conversation about homosexuality within the church. I'm just one voice among many, but I feel compelled to add my voice - not to the debate itself but to the shaping of the conversation. When we have this conversation in the wrong ways:

• We add to the polarization that is already ripping us apart.
• We can push people away from Jesus and the church.
• We can make people feel that we are attacking and condemning who they are as people.
• We can unnecessarily divide and damage the church.
• We can cause people to hate or to discount the Bible.

However, if we have this conversation in healthy, grace-filled ways, the conversation itself can do all kinds of good things:

• It teach us respect for each other.
• It can give us a fresh love and honor for the Bible.
• It can teach us how to work through difficult issues while maintaining Christian unity (something the New Testament actually talks a lot about).
• It can humble us by reminding us that our way of understanding life and the Bible is not always the only way an intelligent and holy person can understand the same things.
• It can actually connect us more deeply with the God who loves us all.

Rainmaker - Review

Our church garage sale had two John Grisham books I hadn't read, so I tipped Sarah off.  Emma gave them to me for Fathers Day.  Score.

Rainmaker picks up on several common Grisham themes - injustice, underdogs, corporate wrongdoing, and ultimately dissatisfaction with money.  

The premise is simple.  Donny Ray had medical insurance, but when he needed a bone marrow transplant, his insurers unfairly denied his claim.  However, his parents were so poor and uneducated that they simply fought the insurance company with letters and phone calls, until it was too late.  When Donny Ray lay on his deathbed, they stumbled into contact with a young law student who took their case.  Against all odds, and with some very fortunate help from others, Rudy Baylor took down one of America's largest insurance companies and exposed their widespread fraud.

What I love about Grisham is that he tells a story with a point, or in this case multiple points.  1) Beware of corporate greed and abuse.  Not every big business is a good business.  2) Beware of greed - from within.  Riches may not be worth the sacrifices required to get them (or to keep them).  

Thanks for another good one, Mr. Grisham.

What does the Bible say about drinking? (Talk Back Series)

What does the Bible say about drinking? The Church of the Nazarene?  KNU International English Church?  Is there such a thing as drinking in moderation? Acceptable drinking?

[This is a response to a question shared on a "Talk Back" card at our church. Answered by Adam Jantz and Josh Broward.]

These are all very good questions, and we're glad you asked! 

First, let’s start with what the Bible says about drinking.  The Bible talks about alcohol over 70 different times, and many of them can seem confusing or contradictory. It is very common to hear one of two answers. “Yes, it is okay to drink as long as you don’t drink too much.”  Or “No, you should not drink at all because it is a sin!”

For example Leviticus 10:9 says “Drink no wine or strong drink, you or your sons with you, when you go into the tent of meeting, lest you die. It shall be a statute forever throughout your generations.”  Judges 13:4 says “Therefore be careful and drink no wine or strong drink, and eat nothing unclean, “ - So we should never drink – check!

But according to Ecclesiastes 9:7 “Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do.”  And Psalm 104:14-15 “ You cause the grass to grow for the livestock and plants for man to cultivate, that he may bring forth food from the earth and wine to gladden the heart of man, oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man’s heart. “  - So we can drink?!?

Also, Paul told Timothy to stop drinking only water and to drink some wine because it was good for his stomach (1 Timothy 5:23).  Furthermore, Jesus turned water into wine at the wedding at Cana in John 2:1-11.  It had to be real, high quality wine because the people said that Jesus’ wine was the best wine at the party!

On the other hand, though, the Bible is clear that drunkenness is dangerous and sinful (Ephesians 5:18, Galatians 5:19-21, Proverbs 23:29-35).  We should not be mastered by anything on this earth (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19), and drinking alcohol can easily become addictive to many people.   Also, the Bible explains that we shouldn’t do anything that might offend other Christians or that might encourage them to sin (1 Corinthians 8:9-13).

So what do we get when we put all of this together?