Why Doesn't God Heal Everyone Who Asks?

When I was growing up, one of my best friends was Nathan Fischner who was born with a whole in his back (spina bifida).  He could walk only with a full lower-body brace and custom crutches, but he was an expert wheel chair racer and taught me the art and joy of the stationary wheelie.  Nathan is trained as a computer scientist, but for now he is working as a gem cutter.
A few years ago, I was preaching about a story of Jesus' healing a lame man, and I remembered Nathan.  I wondered how he reads this text and how he deals with the issue of healing from the perspective of one who has a life-long handicap.  His response - which has been percolating for quite some time - is thoughtful, personal, vulnerable, and at times profound.  With his permission, I am glad to post his answer here.

Nathan Fischner: You asked me in an email some years ago why it was that one does not say, "Rise up and walk!" to one who needs healing, and then send them on their way.  Why DON'T we ALL just go around mass healing the injured, disabled, and sick.  It seems so simple... and yet so many stay as they are.  The world God has made is a very big place, in terms of the possibilities of expressing his love to those he created in his own image.  There must, therefore, be more to it than it first seems.

I say that when it is revealed to us in terms we understand, we must accept God's will as a small trusting child would, without agenda and without expectations other than he is our Father and wants the best for us.  That being said, we are taught by Jesus himself to go into a quiet, secluded room, and, by the model prayer He gave us, to think on a much larger prayer than simply a need.  One is to acknowledge Him, His greatness and authority, and to truly rejoice before Him concerning what He has done for them and what this person has seen Him do for others (thankfulness isn't just presenting a list of items you have noticed done for you).  A little child, as we are meant to envision, comes to the Father saying "Please, fix this.", because the child has reached the end of his/her own resources, and the problem is something that they don't feel they can go on past without help.

God and Suffering

         When I was in a student in Europe, I took a midnight train from Paris to Zurich.  I was too cheap to pay for a sleeping car, so I ended up talking all night with a man named Yacov.  Yacov described himself as a secular Jew.  He grew up in Israel, where he was educated in the Jewish faith.  

However, when he saw a documentary on the Holocaust in middle school, he became an atheist.  He said to himself, “There is no such thing as God or the chosen people, or else this would not have happened.”

Yacov is not alone.  How can a good God allow so much suffering?  The Jewish prophet Habakkuk had the same question.  A few centuries before Jesus, the Greek philosopher Epicurus was wrestling with the problem of thinking of a good and strong God in a broken and bruised world.  A few centuries after Jesus, St. Augustine was still asking the same question.  He had some different answers, but he was still kicking the same can along the same street.  

How can a loving God allow so much suffering?  This question never goes away.   Everyone seems to ask this at one time or another.  Without a doubt, this is the single most common theological question voiced in movies.  “Why, God?  How could God let this happen?”

----  Let’s make this personal.  At the end of each row, you'll find some cards and pens. Take a minute and write down on the card one instance of serious suffering.  It can be global or hyper local.  You can make it as personal or impersonal as you want.  I’m not going to ask you to show it to anyone.

...

Now, hold those up.  Hold up your example of suffering.  Raise your hand high.  This is why we are talking about this.  These cards are why we have to talk about this.  We know suffering.  We need some answers for why there are all these cards in the air and why there is so much suffering in the world.

Let me give a few disclaimers before we really get started here. 

1.  The Bible does not give a complete answer to this question.   The Bible is more focused on how to overcome suffering rather than focusing on why there is suffering in the first place.

2.  There is no way that I can give a complete answer today.  You and I both will probably leave here feeling a little unsatisfied with the answers we talk about today.  However, I hope that I can at least make this issue more manageable for us.

When we face the problem of suffering in the world, it can be overwhelming.  Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, murders, poverty, starvation, cancer.  It all piles up, causing us to wonder how a loving God could allow so much suffering.  Sometimes, the mountain of pain gets bigger and bigger, and we get smaller and smaller, until we can’t see anything else but the pain.  One thing I hope to do today is to shrink that mountain so that we can move past it.  

Calico Joe - John Grisham

Grisham takes a rare tour outside the legal genre to explore sin and forgiveness, brokenness and redemption within the lens of Major League Baseball.
Calico Joe is a blazing rookie for the Chicago Cubs.  He homers in his first three major league at bats and barely slows down for the next 60 games.
Most of America is ready to admit him to the Hall of Fame before he completes his rookie year.  His hometown, Calico Rock, Arkansas is over the moon in pride and joy for their favorite son.  (By the way, my grandparents lived 20 miles from Calico Rock, so I really enjoyed recognizing the local geography and culture.)
Then, Warren Tracy, a bitter and aging pitcher, mows down Calico Joe with a fastball to the temple.  Joe spends weeks in the hospital and never returns to baseball.
The second third of the book is the somewhat predictable, but no less gratifying story of a wounded sinner trying to make peace with his past.  Spurred on death and his mediating son, Tracy sits down with Joe for a reconciliation.
The plot is not profound.  The characters are not particularly deep.  The story is not suspenseful.   But it is enjoyable and even edifying.  Our actions have consequences.  But even our worst mistakes can experience a measure of healing and redemption.  Forgiveness and reconciliation are worth the effort.

What the Bible says about CANCER

1. God hates cancer.  

Jesus taught us to pray, “May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).  Revelation tells us that in heaven, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain” (21:4).  God is on our side in the fight against cancer, and one day, God will win.

2. God suffers with us.  Isaiah 63:9, “In all their suffering he also suffered.”  Like a parent hurting with a child, God is right there with us, crying right along with us.  

3. God can use anything.  

I’m not saying that God causes cancer, but God can definitely use anything - even hurtful things - for good.  God can redeem pain for healing.  Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”  Sometimes the most important lessons are the most painful.  Sometimes the most important life changes emerge from the pit of suffering.  Even in the midst of great loss, we can always ask, “God, what do you want to teach me through this?”  

4. God is not threatened by our pain, doubts, or anger.  

As you grieve, read through the Psalms.  Learn from the lament psalms.  It’s OK to complain to God.  It is good to shout at God if you feel like shouting.  It is OK to question God’s goodness.  God can handle it, and if you don’t express it, it will eat you up inside.

5. God is bigger than our pain.

When we lose a loved one, that pain can block out the sun.  The pain of loss can be all consuming, a black hole sucking us down.  It’s OK to feel the pain.  It’s OK to feel like you can’t go on.  But in the midst of the pain and the storm and the feelings of drowning in despair, hold on to God.  God also lost a loved one - a son.  Jesus died an extremely painful death at an early age, so God knows that pain.  But God’s mighty power also raised Jesus from the dead and began the redemption of all suffering.  I don’t know why evil and suffering are in the world, but I know that good wins.  I know that God wins.  No matter how bad the pain, remember that God’s good love is greater still.  

Barefoot on the Sun

Walking barefoot on the sun
Across our auburn deck
Life's bright shadow
Falls over me
Takes me in
Seeping from sole to soul
Holy warmth
Heals my heart
Brews me slowly
Like sun tea
Out all day

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Review

I couldn't put it down.  Bathroom, bedroom, living room, breakfast table, car, mechanic.  I read it at every free moment until I was done.
Stieg Larsson deftly blends the narratives of the super-rich, struggling sociological outsiders, midlevel power players, abusers, and victims.  Its backdrop in Sweden, although obvious from the names of people and places, actually had almost no impact on the accessibility of the story for me as an American.  I instantly related to the themes of power, relationship, justice, identity, and discovery.
However, reader beware.  This is not a book for people with weak hearts or sensitive minds.  Violence and sexual abuse are major factors in the story.
On the other hand, without giving away the plot, I always love it when hope emerges out of the ashes of the pain.  Larson beautifully plumbs the depths of human pain, yet he also follows through to hope without the slightest bit of sentimental cheese.  Well done, sir.  Well done.

Good News About Poverty

Finally some good news about global poverty.  Bono shares some shocking statistics about our progress in fighting extreme poverty around the world.  If you have ever had any doubts about whether we can do anything meaningful about poverty, you must watch this.

100 Things I Love About Korea - #20 - People: Shannon Smith

This month our church members are sharing testimonies during the worship service.  This is Shannon's testimony from two weeks ago.

Anyone who knows me well will know that I am not a person who likes change. I came to Korea 4 1/2 years ago with the intention to stay here one year and go back to the U.S. I didn't want to come to Korea, but after living here a few months, I made many friends, learned to love Korean food, as well as love Korea's people and culture. As I said though, I hate change and I have experienced a lot of change while living here. Since moving to Korea, I have worked at 5 different schools, lived in 5 different apartments, and said goodbye to so many friends. It hasn't been easy for me. Part of the reason is because when I care about people, I care about them deeply, so it’s hard for me to let them go. It’s good because it means I genuinely love others, but it’s bad because it means I am often easily hurt. 

For most of my life, my self-worth and acceptance have come from what other people think about me. I am a people-pleaser. I often feel like I can't say "no" to people, because I worry about whether they will still love me or care about me. And even though I have been a Christian for almost 20 years, my relationship with God was the same. I never felt good enough or worthy enough for God to love me. No matter how many times I asked God to forgive me, I never felt like I was really forgiven. I believed God could heal and forgive everyone, except me. I walked around with so much guilt, shame, brokenness, and negativity. I felt so lonely, even though I was rarely alone. 

Most people didn't know this though, because I was too afraid to share it with others. I cried almost every day for months and it was even hard for me to pray. I just felt so heavy and burdened by all of it. I wanted to fix it, but there was nothing I could do. Throughout this whole time of struggle, I was so focused on what "I" should do, that I never really surrendered it all to God. I was never really honest with God about all of my angry and hurt feelings. Just like my fear of telling people about my struggles, I was even afraid to tell God. It wasn't until I simply said, "God, I need you. I need you. I need you", over and over through my tears that I began to really experience God's love and grace in my life. There never would have been anything I could have done to heal my brokenness and pain. I needed God to heal me. I needed God to reassure me that no matter what my past looks like, He still loves me and forgives it all. I needed God to give me peace where there was so much despair. And I needed God to give me hope that no matter what my future holds, He is with me and will never leave me alone. 

Retro Poem #17: Nothing Words

That was a nothing voice

That spoke in a nothing way

When it spoke to me about holiness.

They were nothing words 

Because I did not believe

I did not believe it was possible 

To live the kind of life

They proclaimed.

I had tried and failed.

I did not believe.

My experience taught me otherwise.

That was a nothing voice

That spoke in a nothing way

Because I did not believe.

I closed my ears

And embittered my heart

When they spoke in nothing words

A doctrine of holiness.

I did not believe.

My experience taught me otherwise.

But God will prove his person

To those who seek his face.

In his something way,

He found a path around 

My nothing walls

And slowly peeked His 

Holy light into my heart

And showed me His holy face.

In his something way,

He has removed my bitterness

And replaced it with passion,

Longing to be holy

Because of my holy God,

Who is Holy Love.

I stand longing yet resting,

Resting in what I have in Christ,

Who I have in Christ.

He in me, and I in him,

He is my life, my peace, my holiness.

God, in his something way,

Has moved me from bitterness, 

     to longing, to rest.

We serve a something God

Who dissolves our nothing walls

If we seek his face.

Written in 1998

Why does God create people with mental illnesses? (Talk Back Series)

Why does God create people with mental illnesses (i.e. depression, bipolar disorder, etc.)? 

[Answered by Shannon and Josh]

  This is not the easiest question to answer because there isn’t any clear answer in Scripture about this.  Genesis 1:27 says that we are "created in the image of God".  If we are created in the image of God, then God doesn’t create people with any illness, whether mental or physical. 

Many people attribute illness and disabilities to “the fall of man” in Genesis 3.  There is some justification for this, because before Adam and Eve ate the fruit, they didn't know any wrong or even that they were naked.  At the fall, sin entered the world.  There was now the opportunity for people to choose between good and evil.  

God didn't create all of the bad things that happen to people and all of the suffering that many people face.  People throughout the generations have chosen to disobey God and to live sinful lives. We are all born sinners, and sin and its consequences have been passed on from generation to generation. Because of this, there have been negative results on our world and in our lives as human beings.  People are born into a world that is literally being destroyed by the people living in it.  

On the other hand, when Jesus was asked about the reason for the man's blindness in John 9:1-3, Jesus said that his blindness was not because of his sin or his parent's sin, but to bring glory to God.  That's not that reassuring for someone who is suffering with an incurable disease or a mental illness, but God has used the faith and lives of many people who have suffered to draw people to himself and to bring glory to His name.  

When we are suffering with something, it's really hard to be positive and think about the good that can come from a situation that we are going through. After we get through it though, we often look back and realize that God was with us the whole time and that we were never alone. Through everything that we have faced or are facing, God walks with us, and we can praise Him for strengthening us, healing us, and sustaining us regardless of what we are going through.   

       Also, the collective effects of human sin throughout the world are basically an un-creation, a descent into chaos.  However, God is constantly working for re-creation, healing our brokenness, setting things right.  God wants us to be healthy and whole here in this life, and God is working through his Spirit and people to move us toward more health.  But eventually, when Jesus comes again, he will set everything right.  He will make everyone whole and cure every disease and heal every wound.  For now, we keep taking baby steps toward healing in God's love, but we also look forward in hope to the total healing God will eventually give.

Rescue, Refuge, Rehab, Reassignment (2 Samuel 22)

This is our last passage in our series in 1 and 2 Samuel.  Most of this chapter is actually the same as Psalm 18, but it is included here as part of David’s story.  It is kind of a summary of how God helped him throughout his life.  We’re only going to read a few parts of the psalm because it’s really long, but listen for four basic themes: rescue, refuge, rehabilitation, and reassignment.

First there is an introduction section:

¹ David sang this song to the LORD on the day the LORD rescued him from all his enemies and from Saul.  ² He sang:

The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior.

my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.

He is my shield, the power that saves me,

and my place of safety.

Next is the rescue section:

⁵ The waves of death overwhelmed me;

floods of destruction swept over me.

⁶ The grave wrapped its ropes around me;

death laid a trap in my path.

⁷ But in my distress I cried out to the LORD;

yes, I cried to my God for help. ...

¹⁷ He reached down from heaven and rescued me; 

he drew me out of deep waters.

¹⁸ He rescued me from my powerful enemies, 

from those who hated me and were too strong for me. ...

Then comes refuge:

²⁰ He led me to a place of safety;

He rescued me because he delights in me. ...

³¹ He is a shield of for all who look to him for protection.

³² For who is God except the Lord?

Who but our God is a solid rock?

³³ God is my strong fortress ...

Next is something we might not expect: rehabilitation.

³⁴ He makes me as surefooted as a deer, 

enabling me to stand on mountain heights.

³⁵ He trains my hands for battle;

he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.

³⁶ You have given me your shield of victory;

your help has made me great ...

The final move may be even more surprising and uncomfortable: reassignment.

³⁸ I chased my enemies and destroyed them;

I did not stop until they were conquered ...

⁴⁰ You have armed me with strength for the battle;

you have subdued my enemies under my feet.

⁴¹ You placed my foot on their necks. ...

David finishes with a conclusion of praise.

⁴⁷ The LORD lives!  Praise to my Rock!

May God, the Rock of my salvation, be exalted!

Over the past two weeks, we had the great privilege to see this psalm lived out in Bangladesh.  Bijoli was an orphan as a child.  She faced staggeringly bad options: near-slavery as a worker in a house or sweatshop, homelessness, or prostitution.  However, she was rescued, and given refuge in an orphanage sponsored by the Church of Bangladesh.  Over the next decade or so, she experienced a beautiful rehabilitation.  Despite her difficult beginnings, she learned about God’s love and developed a beautiful personality of joy and peace.  She studied well and showed great potential for ministry.  

Mephibosheth: From Shame to Grace (2 Samuel 9)

Read 2 Samuel 9.

My nanny dropped me.  Worst day of my life.  My father and grandfather were with the army in Jezreel.  Every time they went out, I staged my own battle with little wooden men in the garden.  I had archers and chariots and flag bearers.  I was only five, but I moved the men forward in formation until they crashed into one another - with soldiers flying this way and that.  It was great fun!  Of course, Israel always won, and my father and grandfather were always the heros.  The king and the crown prince were always the gallant warriors who saved the day.

Until the rider came.  My nanny had to drag me away from my little Battle of Jezreel.  We at at the royal table, eating the best food of the land, the only food I had ever known.  I still had my dad’s toy soldier in my hand for the whole meal.  I took it with me wherever I went.  It was my way of feeling closer to him while he was away.  

Until the rider came.  We could hear him pounding on the gate - and I can still hear his desperate, haunting voice - hoarse from shouting, dry from riding.  The whole palace spilled into the courtyard to see what all the fuss was about.  There standing in our safe little sanctuary of home was a wounded, bloodied, exhausted rider announced the news that shattered our entire family:  “King Saul and Crown Prince Jonathan are dead!”  

No one had any idea what would happen next. 

Grace (Eventually) - Review

I love Anne Lamott.  I wish she would spend long hours relaxing on the back porch or drinking coffee at the kitchen table with our family.  She would add laughter and depth and love to every situation - and yes, by her own beautiful admission, maybe a little drama too.  But the fact that she freely admits that is part of why I love her and wish we could hang out.
Grace (Eventually) is Donnie-Miller-esque, except that Lamott wraps each chapter into a beautiful little package and - at the same time - ends chapters in intriguing little wandering phrases.  Lamott compiles a range of stories in which she has failed, succeeded, worried, shouted, cried, laughed, trusted, doubted, and loved.  The beauty of her writing is that she draws us into her life and shows us the mysterious action of God there.  In the process, she opens us to our own lives and the same mysterious action of God in us.
I've read a few books by Lamott, but this one is definitely the most "liberal."  She rails against Bush, like a wounded lover, watching her ex dance with the prom queen.  She offers positions on euthanasia and abortion, which I don't support.  However, the benefit in reading Lamott, with all of her frankness and obvious love for God and people, is not agreeing with what she says but understanding the innate humanity of her experience.  She opens my heart to people with whom I disagree, and that is worth the price of any book.  (Though this one was a gift from my friend Gina.  Thanks!)
As hinted by the title, the main point of the book is Lamott's wrestlings with her life struggles and how she finally finds grace - eventually.   Simply opening that struggle to the public is a great act of courage, and it encourages us to stay on the trail of grace even in our darkest times.  Lamott makes me want to write, and to write a lot.
While Grace (Eventually) is not as good as some of Lamott's other books, I still recommend it.  The Josh rating: JJJJ.

Akeela and the Bee - Movie Review

My friend Matt has been recommending this movie for a long time.  Despite it's potentially nerdy and boring main event (a national spelling bee), Akeela and the Bee is moving and poignant, hopeful and provocative.
Akeela attends a substandard school in South Los Angeles, but she is an exceptional speller.  With encouragement from her teacher, she enters the school's spelling bee.  Her principal sees her as an opportunity to rejuvenate the school and enlists an outside expert (Samuel L. Jackson) to coach her.
As Akeela slowly studies and advances in the national spelling bee, she, her coach, her family, her school, and her broader community are slowly drawn into a beautiful process of healing.  One of the most moving bits of the movie is when the community comes together to help Akeela practice.  It really demonstrates the power of community and the power of one person to make a difference in the life of others.
This may not be Oscar worthy, but it is hands-down the best family movie I've watched in a long, long time.  The Josh rating here is a little difficult.  It barely inches into 5Js: JJJJJ - mostly because I think we should all watch it and be inspired to go and love-likewise.

Community Art Project: Exodus 2

This was our Ash Wednesday text and art.  We missed having these in the worship service, but I want to share them here.

 Exodus 2
²³ Years passed, and the king of Egypt died. But the Israelites continued to groan under their burden of slavery. They cried out for help, and their cry rose up to God. ²⁴ God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. ²⁵ He looked down on the people of Israel and knew it was time to act.


DELIVERANCE
I did not know that petulance would smolder into searing loss, nor that flames of
     earthly sorrow rampage beyond the flesh and torch the soul.
I did not know that soul-fire can condense all human anguish into one consuming
     cry for You, Lord. Only You.
I did not know, but God knew.

And in His presence, peace and hope and comfort wrap me, hold me in divine
     embrace. On wings of music, healing light - More than delivered from,
     delivered to.
I did not know! But God knew.

This one was too large to scan as one file.  Hopefully, you can still get the idea.

 

Finding Forgiveness - Genesis 45:1-15

             Today, we are concluding our study of Genesis with a quick look at one of the final chapters.  We aren’t going to spend a lot of time on it because our Bangladesh team is back.  We want to have plenty of time to hear their stories, too.

             Before we read the text, you need to remember some important background info.

• Joseph’s brothers hated him and sold him into slavery in Egypt.
• God blessed Joseph with the power to interpret dreams and helped Joseph rise to a position of leadership second only to the King.
• A famine devestated the whole Middle Eastern region, and the only food anywhere was the food that Joseph helped Egypt save.
• Joseph’s brothers traveled to Egypt to buy food for their families, where they met Joseph.  But of course, they didn't recognize him in his role of Egyptian royalty.
• Joseph struggles to forgive them and put them through a series of tests to see if they have truly changed.  Our text begins after the final test.

Genesis 45:1-15

¹ Joseph could stand it no longer. There were many people in the room, and he said to his attendants, “Out, all of you!” So he was alone with his brothers when he told them who he was. ² Then he broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him, and word of it quickly carried to Pharaoh’s palace.

 ³ “I am Joseph!” he said to his brothers. “Is my father still alive?” But his brothers were speechless! They were stunned to realize that Joseph was standing there in front of them. ⁴ “Please, come closer,” he said to them. So they came closer. And he said again, “I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into slavery in Egypt. ⁵ But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. ⁶ This famine that has ravaged the land for two years will last five more years, and there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. ⁷ God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors.  ⁸ So it was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh—the manager of his entire palace and the governor of all Egypt.

 ⁹ “Now hurry back to my father and tell him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me master over all the land of Egypt. So come down to me immediately! ¹⁰ You can live in the region of Goshen, where you can be near me with all your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and everything you own. ¹¹ I will take care of you there, for there are still five years of famine ahead of us. Otherwise you, your household, and all your animals will starve.’”

 ¹² Then Joseph added, “Look! You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that I really am Joseph! ¹³ Go tell my father of my honored position here in Egypt. Describe for him everything you have seen, and then bring my father here quickly.” ¹⁴ Weeping with joy, he embraced Benjamin, and Benjamin did the same. ¹⁵ Then Joseph kissed each of his brothers and wept over them, and after that they began talking freely with him.

             Joseph’s story is one of the classic forgiveness texts in the Bible.  Joseph actually seems to struggle quite a bit in the process of forgiving his brothers.  His struggles and his eventual forgiveness show us three common barriers to forgiveness and the keys to forgiveness. 

Aimee Mullins - Absolutely Amazing

Aimee Mullins was born without her fibulae (1 of two bones in both legs).  She has harnessed engineers, scientists, artists, and fashion designers to create better prosthetic legs - some possibly even superior to flesh-and-bone legs.
Check out her website here, and watch her tell her stories below.

Here is her original TED video, where she discusses her career as a paraolympic athlete with prosthetic legs modeled after the hind legs of cheetahs.   This was the talk that totally changed her life in the direction you will see in the next videos.

Here she discusses how her life moved into a radically new direction because of the first video above.






Here, she discusses how to let adversity propel you beyond your former status quo.



Also, be sure to listen to her Moth podcast.  (Scroll down to Moth Radio Hour 404.)

My Eel

Anxiety wraps my heart
like an electric eel
with a million tentacles
tiny and splintering
burrowing every crevice
charged with pulses of fear.

I root them out
like a gardener hunting
     weeds
like a surgeon digging
     cancer.
Hoes, claws, gloved hands
Merely pop them off
     at the root
Scalpals, radiation, chemo
Merely shrink the size
     temporarily.

Hope fills the void
     temporarily
Peace pulls its moving van
     to my curb
Only to find
The old eelly occupant
     has returned.
     Again.



---- For the sake of those who might not know, this was written on a bad day, and I don't always feel like this.  I post here for the sake of those who know exactly how this feels and need the hope that mutual understanding brings. ----

"Good to Me" by Craig Musseau

We just discovered this song, and I think we're going to use it during Lent.  I love how it honestly admits our need for repentance and healing but also celebrates God's grace and hope.

The Gospel of Restoration - Isaiah 61

             Hello.  My name is Josh, and I’m an alcoholic.

             I’m a porn addict, a compulsive gambler, a smoker, and a semi-regular crack user.

             I’m a shopaholic, workaholic, me-aholic.

             I’m the child of abusive parents, and now I’m a codependant adult.

             I beat my wife, and I’m more than $100,000 in debt.

             I am a rape victim, and I’m a sexual abuser.

             I’m grieving the loss of a loved one.

             I’m a racist, a legalist, a moralist, and a recovering hypocrite.

             I am depressed and lonely. 

Sometimes I have thoughts of suicide.  I may even have a plan.

I look like I have a lot of friends, but really I have a very hard time developing meaningful relationships.

I’m struggling with problems with my parents, and my marriage is falling apart.

I’m obsessed with my looks, and I have an eating disorder.

I’m addicted to the internet, and I am a flagrant procrastinator.  Not a good combination!

I have deep resentment and hidden anger.

I am addicted to romance.

My life is dominated by anxiety.

I use profanity often – especially when I’m not at church.

I can’t stop gossiping, no matter how many times I tell myself I’m going to stop.

I’m beginning to lose hope in God.

I am actually an athiest.

I doubt everything all the time.

I value achievement more than love.

I’m struggling to become the person God wants me to be, and I’m beginning to give up.

I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I am lost, captive, blind, despairing, mourning, helpless, and hopeless.

I am broken.  I am a sinner.

Some of these are true of me.  All of these are true for someone in this room.