Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Friday, July 27, 2012

Mephibosheth: From Shame to Grace (2 Samuel 9)




My nanny dropped me.  Worst day of my life.  My father and grandfather were with the army in Jezreel.  Every time they went out, I staged my own battle with little wooden men in the garden.  I had archers and chariots and flag bearers.  I was only five, but I moved the men forward in formation until they crashed into one another - with soldiers flying this way and that.  It was great fun!  Of course, Israel always won, and my father and grandfather were always the heros.  The king and the crown prince were always the gallant warriors who saved the day.
Until the rider came.  My nanny had to drag me away from my little Battle of Jezreel.  We at at the royal table, eating the best food of the land, the only food I had ever known.  I still had my dad’s toy soldier in my hand for the whole meal.  I took it with me wherever I went.  It was my way of feeling closer to him while he was away.  
Until the rider came.  We could hear him pounding on the gate - and I can still hear his desperate, haunting voice - hoarse from shouting, dry from riding.  The whole palace spilled into the courtyard to see what all the fuss was about.  There standing in our safe little sanctuary of home was a wounded, bloodied, exhausted rider announced the news that shattered our entire family:  “King Saul and Crown Prince Jonathan are dead!”  
No one had any idea what would happen next. 

Monday, February 6, 2012

My Eel

Anxiety wraps my heart
like an electric eel
with a million tentacles
tiny and splintering
burrowing every crevice
charged with pulses of fear.

I root them out
like a gardener hunting
     weeds
like a surgeon digging
     cancer.
Hoes, claws, gloved hands
Merely pop them off
     at the root
Scalpals, radiation, chemo
Merely shrink the size
     temporarily.

Hope fills the void
     temporarily
Peace pulls its moving van
     to my curb
Only to find
The old eelly occupant
     has returned.
     Again.



---- For the sake of those who might not know, this was written on a bad day, and I don't always feel like this.  I post here for the sake of those who know exactly how this feels and need the hope that mutual understanding brings. ----

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Success and Failure

Do not run to success
   For success may bring
      As much burden as blessing.

Do not run from failure
   For failure may bring
      As much blessing as burden.

Run only to God
   For God will bring
       All that we need.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Nazarene Heritage: Unity (Snakes in a Church)

Numbers 21:4-9
 4 Then the people of Israel set out from Mount Hor, taking the road to the Red Sea to go around the land of Edom. But the people grew impatient with the long journey, 5 and they began to speak against God and Moses. “Why have you brought us out of Egypt to die here in the wilderness?” they complained. “There is nothing to eat here and nothing to drink. And we hate this horrible manna!”
 6 So the Lord sent poisonous snakes among the people, and many were bitten and died. 7 Then the people came to Moses and cried out, “We have sinned by speaking against the Lord and against you. Pray that the Lord will take away the snakes.” So Moses prayed for the people.
 8 Then the Lord told him, “Make a replica of a poisonous snake and attach it to a pole. All who are bitten will live if they simply look at it!” 9 So Moses made a snake out of bronze and attached it to a pole. Then anyone who was bitten by a snake could look at the bronze snake and be healed!


    Snakes on a Plane was possibly the worst movie made in the last ten years.  The basic concept is that someone releases hundreds of poisonous snakes on a plane flying over the Pacific Ocean.  They can’t land, and they can’t get the snakes out.  Just so you don’t have to watch it, let me give you the summary.  It’s a bad movie, and lots of people die.
    At the risk of extreme cheesiness and possible biblical irreverence, I want to use snakes as a theme for our talk today on unity.  You might call this sermon Snakes in a Church.   Let me give you the summary.  It’s a bad problem, and lots of people die - spiritually. 
    In Moses’ story, God sent the snakes as a punishment for Israel’s complaining and lack of faith.  In our story, the snakes are more the cause of the problems.  Our snakes are our sneaky, sneaking sins that hide in the darkness, tell us lies, and masquerade as truth.  They poison our lives, and they poison our churches.  Both stories point to Jesus as the cure. 

Monday, August 8, 2011

Preaching Naked

Preaching naked
I bare my soul
No hidden motives
Nothing in reserve
My heart on my sleeve
My insides spilling out
Through my open mouth
Preaching naked
I bare my soul
Like me
Love me
Hate me
Don't ignore me
Preaching naked