Retro Poem #11: Nothing Comes Out

Do you know 

   that when you cry

   I feel it?

Do you know

   that when you hold it back

   I feel that too?

Sometimes I feel you

   hold down a great big sob

   but nothing comes out.

Sometimes the tears are there,

   but the fears are there too,

   and nothing comes out.

Sometimes you’ve long since 

   stopped the tears

   and I hug you

   and everything wants to start again

   but nothing comes out.

A great big cry

   bundled up with pain and fear

   and whatever else - I don’t know -

   surges toward the surface

   and slams into the wall 

   of your determination.

I am not sure exactly 

   what you are determined to do

   except to hold that bundle down

   and nothing comes out.

Your will is strong;

   you can do almost anything you want.

But sometimes I wish 

   that you would not master your emotions.

I wish they were free to be released

   good, bad

   strong, weak

   attractive, or not

   I wish they came out.

When a sob surges

   it needs to be released.

Emancipate the prisoners,

   and emancipate yourself.

Finding Forgiveness - Genesis 45:1-15

             Today, we are concluding our study of Genesis with a quick look at one of the final chapters.  We aren’t going to spend a lot of time on it because our Bangladesh team is back.  We want to have plenty of time to hear their stories, too.

             Before we read the text, you need to remember some important background info.

• Joseph’s brothers hated him and sold him into slavery in Egypt.
• God blessed Joseph with the power to interpret dreams and helped Joseph rise to a position of leadership second only to the King.
• A famine devestated the whole Middle Eastern region, and the only food anywhere was the food that Joseph helped Egypt save.
• Joseph’s brothers traveled to Egypt to buy food for their families, where they met Joseph.  But of course, they didn't recognize him in his role of Egyptian royalty.
• Joseph struggles to forgive them and put them through a series of tests to see if they have truly changed.  Our text begins after the final test.

Genesis 45:1-15

¹ Joseph could stand it no longer. There were many people in the room, and he said to his attendants, “Out, all of you!” So he was alone with his brothers when he told them who he was. ² Then he broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him, and word of it quickly carried to Pharaoh’s palace.

 ³ “I am Joseph!” he said to his brothers. “Is my father still alive?” But his brothers were speechless! They were stunned to realize that Joseph was standing there in front of them. ⁴ “Please, come closer,” he said to them. So they came closer. And he said again, “I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into slavery in Egypt. ⁵ But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. ⁶ This famine that has ravaged the land for two years will last five more years, and there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. ⁷ God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors.  ⁸ So it was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh—the manager of his entire palace and the governor of all Egypt.

 ⁹ “Now hurry back to my father and tell him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me master over all the land of Egypt. So come down to me immediately! ¹⁰ You can live in the region of Goshen, where you can be near me with all your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and everything you own. ¹¹ I will take care of you there, for there are still five years of famine ahead of us. Otherwise you, your household, and all your animals will starve.’”

 ¹² Then Joseph added, “Look! You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that I really am Joseph! ¹³ Go tell my father of my honored position here in Egypt. Describe for him everything you have seen, and then bring my father here quickly.” ¹⁴ Weeping with joy, he embraced Benjamin, and Benjamin did the same. ¹⁵ Then Joseph kissed each of his brothers and wept over them, and after that they began talking freely with him.

             Joseph’s story is one of the classic forgiveness texts in the Bible.  Joseph actually seems to struggle quite a bit in the process of forgiving his brothers.  His struggles and his eventual forgiveness show us three common barriers to forgiveness and the keys to forgiveness. 

Feeling our Prayers - Isaiah 63-64

   Every single person I know has struggled with prayer at some time.  Most people I know struggle with prayer most of the time.  Praying can be hard.  Someone told me last week that he has just about given up on prayer.  Most people say they wish they had more time to pray, but most people don’t seem particularly interested in actually spending more time in prayer.  When it comes right down to it, most of us would rather do most other things.  If you have ever struggled with prayer or with not praying, you are not alone.  Most people are like you.

   We are entering the Season of Advent.  This is a season of waiting.  We are waiting in three ways. 

• We’re waiting symbolically with the people of the Old Testament for Jesus, the Messiah to come.  We’ll celebrate Jesus’ coming at Christmas time.
• We’re waiting for Jesus to come again and make our world right.
• We’re waiting for God’s coming and action to be more fully present in our world and in our lives.

    In the midst of all this waiting, prayer can be hard.  When I graduated from university, my Aunt Sue gave me a book by one of America’s greatest philosophers: Dr. Seuss.  It’s called O, the Places You’ll Go.  Dr. Seuss describes life as this long journey of ups and downs, celebrations and failures.  But one stage of life is often “The Waiting Place”:
        a most useless place … 
        … for people just waiting.
        Waiting for a train to go
        Or a bus to come, or a plane to go
        Or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
        Or waiting around for a Yes or a No
        Or waiting for their hair to grow.
        Everyone is just waiting.