Relearning America: 001 - Alpo Tacos

My family and I just moved back to America after nearly 9 years away, so naturally we're going to have some reverse culture shock.  Of course, we came home for vacations and visits to family every so often, but that in itself brings its own culture shock.  You mean America isn't the land of perpetual vacation and crossword puzzles?!
I just finished up a series of 100 Things I Love About Korea.  (See the archives at the right.)  So I'm going to follow that with 100 Things I'm (re)learning about America.

One of our first lessons came today.  We were making lunch - just sandwiches or wraps or whatever people wanted.  Emma was making a taco.  She reached into the fridge and pulled out an innocuous red can.   She asked if she could put some of it on her taco.  I briefly glanced up from my crossword puzzle (still slightly in vacation mode), and I saw what looked like refried beans, so I said, "Sure."
About five minutes later I get up to rustle up my own grub, and as I'm milling about the counter I take a closer look at that red can.  The picture looks great, but then I read the label: ALPO.

I quickly scan the counter and locate both my daughter and her father-approved taco.  Oh, thank God, she hadn't eaten any yet.  "Emma, I don't think you should eat that taco.  That's not refried beans.  That's dog food...  I mean, you probably could eat it.  It's probably safe, but I wouldn't recommend it since it IS dog food."

Lesson #1: Don't be fooled by those pretty pictures, read the labels.

100 Things I Love About Korea: #84 - Automatic Banking

No more check writing.
No more balancing check books.
Just stick your bank book in the ATM, and you get an up to the minute, accurately balanced bank statement.
Need to pay a bill or send money to a friend?  Just input their account information, press a few buttons, and it's in their account.  It's like magic.
Korea's electronic banking takes a little getting used to.  But it will be hard to go back to the dark ages of filling out checks and then flipping to the register and writing the info in those tiny little lines.
(Thanks to Ron Knickerbocker for reminding me about this - one more thing I'll miss about Korea.)

100 Things I Love About Korea: #76 - The Year 2004

We arrived in Korea at the end of July in 2004.  Bill Patch hired me to be the pastor of small English speaking congregation at KNU, and to do this I also had to teach English at KNU.  Sarah also worked at the KNU hakwon (after school language academy).
When we arrived, we were blessed to come to a furnished apartment.  Jean Johnson (a church member and KNU professor) graciously stocked our fridge with a few bags of groceries.  Over the next few days, she also led us around Cheonan to do some initial shopping and money exchange.
We would not be paid for several weeks, and we soon realized that we didn't bring nearly enough money to set up house AND to continue eating until we got paid.  Alan Rosegrant (another church member and KNU professor) was aware that this is a common problem, and he graciously approached us with the offer to lend us a few hundred dollars to get us through the first month.  We humbly accepted.
Our upstairs neighbors Woody and HyoJin Morris were also a great help in getting to know the area.  They showed us around some and introduced us to the wonders of Korean bathhouses.  Their son Hansel was one year older than Emma, so they had lots of good times playing together.

100 Things I Love About Korea # 47: Replay - Thanksgiving SPAM

[This is a replay of a previous post from September 27, 2007.]

"Happy Thanksgiving! Here's some SPAM."
Tuesday was Chuseok (chew-sock) here in Korea (and China - I think). This is a fall harvest festival, sometimes called Korean Thanksgiving. For Chuseok, nearly everyone around Korea travels to the home of a high ranking family member (oldest living member, oldest son, something like that). The roads are packed with cars, and the cars are packed with food and gifts. Near the beginning of September, the stores start to fill up with these gifts.
We westerners are always amazed at the gifts that Koreans give for Chuseok and Lunar New Year (in February). Some of the more popular gifts include: seaweed, liquor, spam, tuna, toiletries, socks, lotions, cooking oil, and fruit (huge boxes of pears, apples, peaches, or grapes). Sarah and I have always laughed at the popularity of SPAM here - you know the pressed meat in a can.
We have been blessed to have free babysitting for several months now. A woman connected to our church has both her children studying in the USA, and she is lonesome for children. Emma loves her, so ever Friday night, we take her to "Imo's" (Aunt's) house. We decided we would get into the Chuseok spirit, so we bought her a $35 gift pack of spam and tuna. That's a lot of spam!
We also picked up some bathroom gift packs for our neighbors (shampoo, lotions, toothpaste, body wash, loofa, etc.). When we dropped by with our gifts, they looked surprised, and the women of the house disappeared into a bedroom to scrounge up a return gift for us. It was good fun.

100 Things I Love About Korea - #16: Funky Seafood

I'm honestly not big on seafood.  But Korea has expanded my seafood tastes 1,000 fold.  I'll now try just about anything.  

A meal like this - with a whole octopus intentionally displayed as the eye-catching feature piece - is very common.  Once at a meeting of Cheonan pastors, we had a spicy seafood soup with just about everything that lives in the ocean: all sorts of shell fish, shrimp, crab, actual fish pieces, fish innards (including intestines and ovaries full of eggs), and all sorts of other sea creatures that don't fit into easy categories.  

One of Korea's prime delicacies that I haven't tried yet is Saeng Nakji - or fresh octopus.  It's so fresh that they bring it to your table fresh out of the tank.  Then, they chop it up, and everyone digs in.  The tentacles will wrap around your chopstick (even after the chopping), and you have to eat it quickly or the suckers will get stuck in your throat.  Apparently, every year a few people die from this.  I actually want to try it before I leave.  How could you not?

100 Things I Love About Korea - #15: Reciprocity

This was hard to get used to at first, but I'm starting to see the beauty of Korea's culture of extreme reciprocity.  There is something helpful and community building about a cultural norm of mutual support.
At every wedding and funeral, the friends and acquaintances are usually expected to give between $50 and $100 - more if you're family.  And it's always, always cash - no shopping necessary.  We saw this boomerang in our favor at John David's first birthday party.  After being a recipient of generous gifts, I'm now much more inclined to be generous as well.
If someone helps you out, a little thank you gift is the polite response.  I recently received a set of handkerchiefs for attending a funeral in a city about an hour away.
If you go to someone's house, even for a few minutes, you never go empty handed.  People usually stop at the store to pick up some fruit or baked goods.  Sure it's a cultural obligation of sorts, but it also kind of warms the heart.
Often, especially when I'm dealing with issues inside the complex political network of KNU, I am very aware of the culture of reciprocity.  A favor paid now will "earn points" for a favor needed later.  Although there is always the danger (or the reality) of mixed motives, there also seems to be the practical result of making most people a little more generous and pliable (at least if your "account" is on the positive side).
Slowly in my eight years here, I have stopped fighting this culture of reciprocity, and I'm still learning to embrace it - albeit with my own Western twist.  It's different, but it works.

Korea Tip 132: English Speaking Psychiatrist

You don't have to go to Seoul to get your psych meds.  There are several English speaking psychiatrists in Cheonan.  Ask your regular doctor for a recommendation, or try out Dr. Yu at the Y & K Well-Being Clinic (행복 주는 의원) near the Cheonan Bus Terminal.  It's between Starbucks and Krispe Kreme, on the third floor of the building next to Starbucks.
They are confidential, and they give you the medicine right there in the office, so everything is very discrete.  (For anyone who knows Dr. Ko at SsangYong Medical, Dr. Yu is her husband.)  As usual for Korean clinics, there is no appointment necessary.  Just walk in.  However, be warned that the nurses don't speak much English.
Depression and anxiety are common among foreigners living in Korea.  Don't be ashamed or afraid.  Get help if you need it.  No one will know, but you will feel much better.  (And you can always get a original glazed donut while you're at it.)

Nomad

A settler in a land of nomads

Is a nomad all the same.

Friends come and friends go,

Always learning a new name.

Korea Tip 127: An Out for Privates

“Could you teach my child English?”
Any native English speaking teacher in Korea for more than a month has likely heard this multiple times, from multiple people, in multiple locations (buses and bathrooms, subways and stairwells).
Some are glad to comply for the extra cash.  However, others feel stuck in a prickly trap.  Private English tutoring - although very common - is still illegal for foreigners, and it’s grounds for deporting if you get busted.  Besides that many teachers simply don’t want the extra work commitment.
But there just seems to be no good way to respond.  Often those asking the question are bosses, coworkers, friends, or church members - people to whom we feel a measure of social obligation.  We seemed to be forced with a choice of making a social faux pas or else taking on a tutoring job that we really don’t want.
Let me suggest an alternative.  Connect with a native speaker who can do privates legally and willingly.  Usually, this is either a Korean-American or someone married to a Korean. 
For my part, Sarah and I will now be referring people to our friend and church member David Hill, who holds an F5-visa (영주권) which permits him to teach privates along with his Korean wife Hong Young-Ju under the banner of Oxford (영어전문과외).  Check out their website at: www.myfigtree.net.  To make an appointment call (010-4761-9202). 

Korea Tip 124: Know Thyself

Know Thyself.
Plato often advised his students: “Know thyself.” But the phrase probably precedes him by many centuries. By Plato’s time, KNOW THYSELF was already etched in temple walls.
This ancient wisdom takes on contemporary significance when we start jumping on planes and flying across oceans. Landing in a foreign land with a foreign language, foreign culture, and foreign foods can be exceedingly disorienting – even if we don’t always feel the disorientation. Culture shock hits everyone who lives abroad – whether we admit it or not.
Knowing ourselves can both ease the tension and cure some of the pain. We can find a measure of healing freedom through simply being aware of where we are in the normal stages of culture shock. However, knowing ourselves goes much deeper.
As one who has lived abroad for seven years, I can testify that culture shock will reveal our darkest parts. Our old wounds will be reactivated. Our old pains and fears will resurface as new incarnations. At this time, the most tempting option will be to  blame all our frustrations and pains on the new culture in which we find ourselves.
This place is so backward.
Why do they do such crazy things?
This stuff is just stupid.
The temptation is always to project our pain outward. It’s their fault. The problem is out there – with these people, this place, this system, this culture. The problem is never in here, with me, my own darkness. It is true that all cultures have weaknesses, and it’s true that some cultures are better at some things than others. However, our greatest frustrations often reveal more about ourselves than about whatever is driving us crazy. So go deep. Ask yourself some probing questions.
What is really going on here? 
Why does this frustrate me so much?
What am I really afraid of with this? 
How does this connect with my own history?
What does God want to do in me in the midst of this situation? 
If you’re like me,you may find that living in another culture teaches you more about yourself than anyone else.

(This blog was originally posted as part of a series on living abroad at: http://michaelrpalmer.wordpress.com/).  

Korea Tip 114: Crazy May Have a Cause

Be careful what you call crazy.  When you enter a very different culture, some things will seem very strange - even senseless.  Korea is definitely not an exception in this category - at least not for Westerners.  I can't count the number of times I've said or heard someone else say, "That's just crazy."  Not to mention the thousand other variants.
However, one thing that dawned on me this week (once again) is that most of the unusual practices in Korea that seem crazy to me at first actually have a pretty good cause in reality.  Here are a few examples.

• Brushing teeth after every meal.  I was shocked to meet several of the professors in my office building every day around 1:15 - brushing their teeth in the bathroom.  That seemed a little excessive to me.  That is until, I started eating in the faculty dining room.  The kimchi, onions, and garlic had me reaching for a toothbrush, too.  On occasion, I even stoop to an afternoon flossing to get those little bits of green stuff out of my teeth.
• Last minute planning.  This is one that really drives most westerners crazy.  The plans change 3 times before the event, and then 5 more times during the event.  You can't figure out what classes you're actually teaching until the week before the classes start, and even that might not be the final say.  But, this one is kind of a vicious cycle.  It's hard to make and keep plans when everyone else is changing their plans because other people are changing their plans, too.  After reformatting the event 7 times, some people decide that the simplest thing to do is to wait until the last day - after it's almost impossible for any more notices of change to come in - and then work super hard to plan the whole event.  For Westerners, this seems terribly inefficient and stressful, but it actually kind of works in Korean culture - and may even work a little better, given the structural limitations.
• Opening the windows in the winter.  So the heat's on full blast, and icicles are forming outside (or inside), and the windows are open - all of them.  This leaves lots of Westerners scratching their heads or angry.  Or, the first student to walk into the classroom and turns heat up to full blast.  Then, 20 minutes into class, it's crazy hot, and all the students have their coats on, so one of the students opens the window instead of turning down the heat.  Lots of cultural reasons here.  (A) The primary traditional heat sources (stoves or propane heaters) gave off noxious fumes, so fresh air was very important for health.  (B) Airing out a house is important in Confucian philosophy.  (C) With the class room scenario, the students may think the teacher turned on the heat.  Therefore, they don't have the authority to override the teacher's decision there.  However, they are sitting next to the window, so no problem with opening it to get a little more comfortable - especially considering A and B.  (D) Also, many Koreans will keep their coats on inside for lots of reasons.  Schools weren't traditionally heated well, so coats were necessary.  Taking it off just seems like too much trouble - or possibly an insult to the person who sets the classroom environment.  

I could go on and on and on and on.  The point is that there are usually good reasons for most of the things we don't understand.
What are some things you don't understand about Korea?
What are some things you have learned that have helped you understand Korea?

Dragon Seed - Review

"The woman had hair as yellow as cat's fur, and it did not lie smooth about her head as hair does, but it stood out like lamb's wool."  These were the thoughts of Ling Sao as she came face to face with her first white woman.
Pearl Buck's Dragon Seed is set in northeastern China during Japan's invasion between 1937-1941.  It tells the story in all its brutal details through the lens of a single farming family living on the outskirts of a large city - possibly Nanjing or Shanghai.  This simple, hardy family suffers all the ravages of war and being conquered - flight, rape, murder, oppression, irrational injustice, heavy taxation, poverty, hunger, disease, and extreme instability.  In the midst of this single family, we all the options of resistance - flight, subversive fighting from the hills, compromise with the enemy, sabotage from within the enemy's camp, passive endurance, and sly evasion of taxes and oppression.
In addition to telling a riveting story, Pearl Buck has also revealed the difficulties of isolated people coming into contact with outsiders for the first time.  As one living in Korea, where contact with foreigners is still somewhat new.  These little bits of insight from the perspective of the indigenous people shed light on many of my experiences.  On more than one occasion, we have caused a baby to cry simply by entering an elevator with our white faces.  But even more common is a deep reticence to talk with us simply because we are different.  When one has been exposed to only one type of people for many generations, the sudden advent of diversity is radically disconcerting.
I recommend this book, not only because it's a great novel, but also because it can help expats living in Asia to understand a little bit more about how we are often experienced by many in our host nation.  The Josh rating: JJJJ.

Culture Shock Therapy

 These days, we are talking about what it means to be the church.  So far, we’ve talked about hospitality, family, living the mission, and conflict.  Today, we’re picking up an issue that is really important for our local church: Culture Shock.
    I want to start with a simple example.  Words are like bags or containers for meaning.  The words themselves are packages in which we store meaning, and different cultures pack words with different meanings.  Sometimes, we’re surprised at the meanings other cultures pack into their words.
    Here’s one example of how this might work.  Jereme and Adam both went shopping.  They both brought home a bag that says E-Mart. 

• They both bought noodles.  (Jereme shows Korean “glass” noodles.  Adam shows spaghetti.)  They might look a little different, but they’re pretty close.
• They both bought red sauce.  (Adam shows tomato sauce.  Jereme shows red pepper paste.)  Those are going to taste VERY different.
• They both bought something fermented.  (Jereme shows kimchi.  Adam shows sour cream.)  At this point, both people might be saying, “You’re going to eat that?!  Sour cabbage?  Rotten milk?”  And both people are saying, “Oh yeah, that’s good stuff.”
• They both bought fruit.  (Adam shows an apple.  Jereme shows a 참외.)  Sometimes, when you start unpacking cultural differences, you run into a total difference.  One person says, “What is that?  We don’t even have a name for that.”  Actually, the only translation I could find for 참외 is “oriental melon.”  Basically, the dictionary people were like, “Um ... it’s kind of like melons you have in other countries, but not really.”

This is how words and cultures work.  ...


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