Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts

Monday, June 3, 2013

Captains Courageous and The Tender Bar

My brother-in-law and I started a book exchange tradition.  Every time we see each other in person, we will loan the person a book to read.  (We live across the country from each other, so we only get together a few times a year.)  We both chose coming of age books.
My first gift was Rudyard Kipling's Captains Courageous - a beautiful little tale about a poor little rich boy who gets lost at sea.  He is picked up by a fishing boat and is forced into manual labor.  Living by the sweat of his brow changes him and matures him and softens his heart in miraculous and beautiful ways.


Michaels' first book for me was The Tender Bar - a touching memoir by J. R. Moehringer.  Growing up with a single mom and without a significant male influence in his life, the neighborhood bar became his surrogate father.  Actually, it was both the people in the bar and the entity of the bar itself who fathered him.  They taught him how to play baseball, and they taught him how to drink.  But most essentially, they taught him how to be a man.
This particular neighborhood bar was an ironic mixture of a beautifully healthy community mixed with all of the unhealthiness of alcoholism and hedonism.  With that kind of surrogate parent, J. R. naturally had a mixed debt of gratitude and disfunction from the bar.
The most beautiful part of the memoir is J. R.'s coming of age process as a legitimate reporter.  He painfully learns that he must distance himself from the place and the people among whom he felt most at home.  But he does finally grow up and live into his full potential.  And he does come to a peace with his gratitude and separation from the bar, and that in itself is an essential element of his manhood.


Saturday, February 16, 2013

100 Things I Love about Korea: #79 - White Day

After the male-focused Valentines day, it's payback time for the women with White Day on March 14.  Men should now give a gift to any women who gifted them a month earlier.  Some traditions even have a triple return - where the men give the women something 3 times the value of the gift they received.
Traditional gifts are marshmallows or white chocolate, but nowadays, almost anything works.
Basically, this is just splitting up the big Valentine's Day romantic holiday into two separate celebrations.  I kind of like this.  As I said before, men need all the romantic help they can get.  Also, it spreads the intentional expressions of love out for another month.  (The candy makers don't mind all the added business either!)

100 Things I Love About Korea: #78 - Valentines Day (All for the Men)

Korea has scored major points in my book by focusing Valentines Day on men.  Every February 14, women are supposed to give gifts to the most important men in their lives.  Men are officially off the hook.
Don't worry women, your day is coming.  It's just delayed a month to White Day.  But breaking them up like this actually gives men a fighting chance to remember the holiday.
Also, the women go first, so they set the gift-giving standard.  That takes a lot of pressure of the guys.  You don't have to guess how big or how nice you should go.  Just match what you got.
So making romance easier on men ... yeah, we definitely need that.