Friday, September 13, 2013

Jesus' Draft Pick (A Skit for Youth)


Scenario: It’s Jesus’ pick in the NBA Draft.  Instead of choosing one of the biggest, strongest, fastest players, Jesus drafts someone extremely unlikely.   (For a fun satire of Jesus as an NBA player, check it out in The Onion.)  

Main Point: Jesus sees great potential where others see nothing.

Characters:
  • Jesus - General manager and coach of the Chicago Bulls (or other NBA franchise).
  • Commissioner - NBA Commissioner, dressed in a suit and tie.
  • Mick Mickelson - Sports Reporter dressed sloppily with pen and notepad, maybe a tape recorder. (This character should be either very small or rather rotund)

Commissioner:  Congratulations to the Houston Rockets for their exceptional choice of the 6 foot 10 forward from UCLA, Jerome Montablo.  Next up for the 21st pick in the first round of the 2013 NBA Draft, we have Jesus making the choice for the Chicago Bulls.

[Jesus joins the Commissioner at the podium.]

Commissioner:  Jesus, welcome to the NBA.  Let me tell you, we are all excited to see your first draft pick as General Manager and Head Coach.  After your exceptional career as an athlete yourself, the world is waiting and watching to see if you can transfer that success to young players.

Jesus:  Thank you Commissioner.  I’m glad to be here.  I’ve had my eye on this young player for quite some time.  I think he has tremendous potential.  Of course, like all rookies, he has a ways to grow, but I think he will eventually accomplish even more than me.


Commissioner:  Well, Jesus you’ve certainly set the standard high.  Without any further ado, let’s hear who you’ve chosen as your first round draft pick in 2013 for the Chicago Bulls!

Jesus:  Thank you Commissioner.  On behalf of the people of Chicago and the SIX TIME World Champion Chicago Bulls, for our first pick in the 2013 draft, we choose Mick Mickelson!

[Awkward pause.  Jesus looks excited.  Commissioner looks confused.  “Plants” in audience make statements of confusion.  “Huh?”  “Who?”  “What did he say?”]

Commissioner:  Sorry, Jesus, I think you must have a problem with your mic.  Please say that again.

Jesus:  The Chicago Bulls choose Mick Mickelson!

Commissioner:  Who?

Jesus:  I choose Mick Mickelson.

Commissioner [to side stage]: Who is that?  Is there a Mick Mickelson even registered for the draft?

Jesus: No, actually Mick didn’t register.  He doesn’t play much basketball anymore, but I think he’s got a lot of potential.  

Commissioner: Jesus, I don’t have to tell you this is highly irregular.  I ... I don’t know what to say.

Jesus:  Well, I can have whoever I want right?  I want Mick Mickelson.  Mick, come on up.  Mick is actually a sports writer now for the Chicago Tribune.  ... Come on, Mick.  Don’t be shy.

[Commissioner fades to background.]

Mick:  Jesus, I don’t understand.  I got cut from the basketball team in Junior High.  I don’t exactly have what it takes for the NBA.

Jesus:  Not yet.

Mick:  Not ever.

Jesus:  No, not yet.  You haven’t spent any time with me yet.  After you spend a few years with me, eating what I feed you, and going through my training program, you’ll be able to do everything I do and more.

Mick:  [Laughs]  No offense, Jesus, but I just don’t see how that’s possible.  

Jesus:  Leave the possibilities up to me.  Doing the impossible is my specialty.  I’m offering you a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Let me coach you.  Learn from me, and I’ll transform you into a world class baller.  I believe in you, Mick.

Mick:  Nobody else does.

Jesus:  Well, they’re wrong.  I see potential in you that no one else sees.  It all boils down to this.  Do you trust me enough to follow me.  If you do, I’ll transform your life.  If not, you can go back to fishing for sports stories.  If you trust me and gamble your life with me, I’ll make you just like me.  Are you in?  Will you come follow me?

Mick:  Uh ...

[End scene.]

Read: Mark 1:16-18
16 One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. 17 Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” 18 And they left their nets at once and followed him.


Move to dialog: “What would you choose?  Why?  What are the risks?  What are the opportunities?”]
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