When Jesus Needs a Fire Extinguisher

A few pastoral reflections.
1. Always test fire related special effects on the real stage before the real event.
2. Maybe fire related special effects are not a good thing for church services in general.
3. Always have a singer who can keep singing incredibly no matter what.
4. Always have a guy who will run up and grab the flaming stone door and rush it out of the sanctuary.
5. This will be one of those events that is permanently seared into the memory (and carpet) of this church.  (I was --- old when the stage caught on fire at the Easter production.)
6. Did Jesus just kick down a burning door and walk through a wall of flames?  That's cool, no matter what you say.

100 Things I Love About Korea: #77 - 2004 Annual Report (or Lack Thereof)

About a month after we arrived in Korea, it was time for the annual meeting.  I knew all about the nominations for the church board (or in our case Advisory Council), and I had that covered.

After we did the voting and reports from each outgoing board member, I was just about to close the meeting with prayer.  Then, Cathy Williams (bless her heart) said, "Um, Josh, aren't you going to give a pastoral report."
I said, "Oh, am I supposed to do that?"
"Well, traditionally speaking ..."
"Um ... well ... I just got here, so I don't know much of what happened over the past year, but I'll try to do better next year."

100 Things I Love About Korea: #71 - Mr. Pizza.

Shrimp Nude Pizza.
Potato and Bacon Pizza.
Golden Cheddar Crust Pizza.
Sweet Potato Crown Pizza.
Secret Garden Pizza.
Chestnut Pizza.
Bulgogi Pizza.
Roasted Garlic Pizza.
Crab, Lobster, Octopus Pizza.
Asparagus Steak Pizza.
The best pizza motto ever: "Love for Women."

Need we say more?

Well, Korea is the home of the original pizza after all.

100 Things I Love About Korea: #65 - Replay - Bath House With the Pastors

This is a repost from May 12, 2010.

Yesterday, I went to a meeting of Cheonan pastors.  After lunch, we  played soccer at a field across town.   I asked if I'd be able to make  it back for my 5pm appointment.  "No problem.  We finish at 4pm."
We had a nice game on a short field with side walls and a back net thing that kept the ball in play.  No big fouls and two goals (one off the goalie's butt!).  Nice day for a defender.

After  the game, everyone decides to go to the public bath house for a "quick  15 minute shower."  I enjoy the shower, hot tub, sauna, and postlude  shower.  Then one of the other pastors asks me to scrub his back - not  kidding - and remember, we're completely naked.  This is actually a sign of friendship and care.  It's common to see father and son pairs giving each other a good scrub down.  After a few minutes, he offered to scrub my back.  It actually felt pretty good.

After about an hour, we finally left, and I was 30 minutes late for my appointment.  But ... good times.

100 Things I Love About Korea: #64 - The Thunder-Farting Daughter-In-Law

The Thunder-Farting Daughter-in-Law is a traditional Korean story.  I have this beautifully illustrated in a children's book.  Needless to say, this is absolutely going to be one of the few books I mail home.

The story begins with EunMi, living together with her husband JunSeok and her father in law MinTaek. The father-in-law notices that EunMi doesn’t seem comfortable around him. She always has a sour look on her face, and she moves awkwardly. So he complains to his son, “Why is EunMi always so grumpy and grim?”
JunSeok laughs and says, “Oh, don’t worry about EunMi. She just has these incredible, horrible farts, so she’s holding it in around you.”
So the old man goes to EunMi and tells her to relax and let her true self out. She tells the old man to brace himself, and she lets out a fart that rocks the house. The old man is shocked, and he says, “Dang girl! You sure can fart! You’ve got something special there.”
Well, things seem to go on as usual for a while, with the addition of the occasional roof shaking fart. Then, a group of merchants travels through their area. EunMi meets them under a persimmon tree. The merchants are looking longingly at the lush persimmons, but they are all out of reach. EunMi offers to get them down for the merchants, and everyone laughs. So EunMi says, “Will you give me all of the silk on that donkey if I can get you all of the persimmons?” The lead merchant takes her bet. He thinks there is no way possible that this mild little lady can scale the tree and get all of the persimmons.
--- And here comes the best part of the story! --- Next, EunMi turns away from the merchants and points her rumpus up in the air at the persimmon tree and lets out a gigantic thunder-fart. The wind and sound from her nuclear fart shake the tree so hard that every last persimmon falls to the ground, and EunMi walks away with the donkey load of silk.
Back at home the husband and father-in-law are overjoyed, for they are now very wealthy. They slap each other on the back and say, “Boy aren’t we lucky to have a thunder-farting woman in our house! We’re sure glad she isn’t holding it in anymore!”

To see how I used this amazing story in a sermon, click here.  

100 Things I Love About Korea # 58: Replay - Babo T-shirts

This is a repost from January 3, 2009.

So I finally followed that Facebook advertising link for Babo Shirts. If you're in Korea, you probably know what I mean.  If you're not, we get the same 5-6 adds every time we long into face book.  This is one of them.
Check out www.baboshirts.com. These are hilarious.  Be sure to scroll over the Korean T-shirts for the English translation. 
"Babo" means "fool" or foolish in Korean. These shirts make good gifts for anyone who is comfortable with their foolish side.

100 Things I Love About Korea # 55: Replay - Cursing at my Class

This is a repost from May 1, 2008.  I no longer teach English, but this is one of the best stories from my time in the "trenches."

This week one of my text books, which heavily emphasizes vocabulary and listening, had two very similar words: canyon and canon.
I noticed in my first class that the students kind of giggled when I was explaining the difference between these two words.  But that's somewhat common, so I didn't think much of it.
In my second class, for some reason, I really emphasized the difference, and I said "CAN-YON" again and again with very deliberate pronunciation.  Before I knew it, the whole class was saying "canyon" and giggling to their neighbors.  Some were just laughing outright.  I realized that I must have said something funny.  I asked what they were laughing about, but nobody was willing or able to tell me.  Finally, one of the students said that it was an easy word to pronounce and that I didn't have to keep going over it.  I just thought I had drifted off into teacher LA-LA Land, where I was droning on and on about something not so important.  (This is actually easy to do since I teach the same exact class 5 times.)
In my third class, when I got to canyon and canon again (without the heavy emphasis this time), everyone started laughing again.  Finally, the light went on for me.  I asked, "Is 'canyon' a bad word in Korean?"   Several people nodded yes.  I asked, "What does it mean?"  No answer.  I just went on with the rest of the material and finished the class.
After class, I asked one of the girls who seemed to be a good student what "canyon" means in Korean.  She seemed pretty uncomfortable.  Finally, she said that there isn't an exact translation, but it is kind of like "F--- YOU!"
I just laughed and said, "Oh, OK.  Thanks."
As I was walking back to my office, I realized that I had been saying again and again, loudly and with clear pronunciation: "F--- YOU!  F--- YOU!  F--- YOU!  F--- YOU!"
OOPS!!
Ahh - the hazards of teaching cross-culturally!

Also this gives a whole new meaning to America's greatest national park: "The Grand Canyon"!

Retro Poem 1: You & Me

[[I'm going to start a retro poem series - posting an occasional from my earlier years.  I thought I'd start with a simple, funny one, from my college years. ]]


You, Me
You, Me
You, Me
You, Me
You, Me
You, Me
You, Me
You, Me
You, Me
You, Me
It's just you and me --
Let's get married.