Unlike many of my friends and colleagues, I didn't grow up in the church, and although I had two parents, only one was biological but both were real. I knew nothing of God and in many ways I didn't know much about happiness. I'm half Filipino and half American. I lived in the Philippines until I was 7, at which point I moved to California and learned how to speak English. I mention this only to say that I never really felt accepted anywhere and so I never felt at peace.
I eventually grew up to be a California Kid but it wasn't until I moved to the hills of West Virginia, when a very cute girl in my class asked me to go to her youth group did I ever step foot inside a church willingly. From that moment on, life changed. I was sixteen years old.
Among many things, what changed in me was this. (Cheesy, I know) I felt like I found a home in God's heart and in mine there was peace. This peace has become my most closest companion.
I had peace when I started living alone and had to pay rent when I was only a sophomore in high school. I didn't know enough about doubting God to be afraid or to be worried. God's peace was ever present in my life.When it was time to choose which university to attend...the inexpensive state schools or the very expensive private Christian schools and then finding a way to pay the costs, I had peace.
When time came to decide what kind of future I wanted. And when the time came to decide if I wanted to answer a call from God to work with the youth in some form. I knew my answer when my heart felt that certain yet mysterious peace that can only be explained as God's. I like to say when I can sleep at night about a decision I've just made, then I know that is the right decision for me.
And when time came to decide to come to Korea, and then remain in Korea, that's right. The same peace was there. (Actually, a funny story about that...as I was praying about what is up next, Pastor Josh asked to meet with me and so we went to the gym together to work out. During the workout, we made small talk but mainly we just focused on lifting weights and running on the treadmill. Afterwards, in the community shower, he shared the the reasons why I should stay in Korea. It was then I felt the peace I was so certain of...strangest place to find.
Everyday I wake up knowing that I am right where I need to be. Despite the current circumstances surrounding my work, I know that KNU is where I belong right now. How do I know. In my heart, there is peace and a certainty that God is with me.
And that my home and acceptance belong in God's heart and among God's people. So, let me leave you with the Scripture I live by. Philippians 4:6-7:
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
And Luke 12:25:
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life (and there is a footnote that reads "or an inch to his height"). If I could do that, I would be a giant.
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